I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
