when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
