drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
