i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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