I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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