u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
