yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
