Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
