she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lost the right to judge tonight
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
