Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
