white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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