I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
