we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
