it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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