why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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