All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
