I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
