I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
