What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
