I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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