i just wanna soil my oats bro
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
