i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
