Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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