I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
