Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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