Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
