Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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