I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
