I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
