I love having hate sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
