need another drink. this is the easiest way
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
