Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
