Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
