What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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