At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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