chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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