I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
