4 words: hood of his car
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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