The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
