I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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