The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
