Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I could fuck to npr.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
