I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
