you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
