HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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