just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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