He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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