when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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