It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
