i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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