i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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